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How long until the 15 year olds take over this post with their garbage
Nobody is arguing these people don’t exist. Internalized racism/misogyny/transphobia etc etc etc definitely exists. People who are not educated on issues, even those concerning themselves, definitely exist. People in outright denial certainly exist.
The OP is perhaps unaware that the people who do say that wearing a bindi is cutural appropriation or that you shouldn’t use homophobic slurs were once like the people in this very comic.
A lot of times, when I read posts or articles about why one of these things is wrong, the author will say something along the lines of “I used to be that black person saying that white people can have dreads” or “I used to be that trans person who defended cis people”, and invariably, they always conclude that it was a mistake, because no matter how accepting or chill or appeasing they were, they were still treated like shit AND used as an instrument to undercut their legitimate complaints.
So, you know. These people DO exist, OP is right. But OP conveniently ignores what many of these people eventually conclude. Because OP is doing that exact thing: using these people as an instrument to treat other people in those same groups as shit and undercut their legitimate complaints.
Also a lot of the time these are discussions that are actually taking place within the communities? And that need to be discussed and negotiated so that as many people within the community as possible will feel welcome and safe. I can’t speak to the racially based issues highlighted here (I Am White Disclaimer) but the gender and sexuality ones? Yeah, you better believe that we’re constantly talking about that shit. Reclamation of slurs. Politicized identities vs. living stealth and the pros and cons of each and how they relate to activism. The constant minefield of people with dramatically different lived experiences feeling drawn to the same vaguely defined terms because nonbinary folks don’t really have tried and true ways of talking about our genders the way that binary people do.
The thing is that if you’re not part of those groups, taking part in those intragroup discussions, you may not be aware that those discussions are taking place. And that’s partly because we don’t want you to be aware. Because you are going to latch onto the viewpoints that make you feel comfortable rather than understand the dynamics of us trying to make as many of us feel safe as possible, and when “make as many people safe as possible” is the goal, then yes, “I feel unsafe” does take priority over “I don’t feel that this has any effect on my safety one way or the other.” There’s a big difference between someone within the group voicing a dissenting opinion - which then can be examined and if appropriate, can be synthesized with or supplant existing wisdom - and someone outside the group playing devil’s advocate.
Also those last two examples there are pretty awful strawmen. It’s a rare woman or trans person who would seriously argue the contrary of those positions, and honestly? A lot of the ones who would are people who have been so profoundly hurt that they need the shelter a community provides, and if they’re going to heal they need to get there with the help of people who can understand the nuances of their “I hate all [insert privileged group here]” rhetoric. And effective allies recognize that sometimes they need to step back and let the people they’re trying help take care of their own.
i saw this comic on my dash once before and thought long and hard about why it didn’t sit right with me, but couldn’t really put it into words — so here’s a much more eloquent explanation!
"its a metaphor, you see—you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you dont give it the power to do its killing"
Look around your college classroom, spot the virgins.
See, this seems like a game until you skip over the girl with a short skirt and hair in front of her eyes because you heard last summer that she slept with like nineteen guys. You can’t see her hands, but they’re under the table, pulling a rosary through her fingers as she tries to wash the sin off her. She’s only ever kissed three people in her whole life and they’re all girls. She turned down the wrong guy and he told everyone she’s “a whore.” The label “slut” stuck to the bottom of her shoe and swallowed her up.
But that quiet girl who is always reading probably never touched someone else’s penis, you figure, because you don’t know that she goes home and strips down and pulls on tight black leather, you don’t know she’s got a set of whips that could make any set of knees quiver, you don’t know because she’s proud of what she does but she’s not stupid enough to let anyone know about it. She’s sexy, just not here, not where people judge.
See, the truth is: you have no idea who has lost their virginity, because it doesn’t change you. It doesn’t give you some kind of glow or superpower or stamp on your forehead. You know the feeling of waking up on your birthday and thinking “I don’t feel any older whatsoever”? That’s what maybe they’re all so afraid of you finding out: sex doesn’t change you. Sex doesn’t make you an animal, sex doesn’t suddenly make your relationship a million times more stable or intimate or romantic - it can’t fix what’s broken, although it can make the pain go away for a bit. Sex doesn’t really occur with eighty tea lights and a thick white rug. Sex is ugly and loud and frequently awkward, sex is excellent and breathtaking and when you wake up the next morning, you’re the exact same person. There’s not some magical connection with the person in bed beside you. Believe it or not, pregnancy isn’t some kind of punishment - but practice safe sex, get tested, don’t spread your germs around. They want to tell you, “Sex can ruin you” and I’ve heard that a lot as a little girl, that some boy would join me under my sheets and then dump me four days after, used, unhappy.
But I figured out that I’m not a fucking toy. Letting someone have sex with me is not letting them “use” me, because I’m not an object. My father said the issue lay in the fact “Men are insecure and need to know that they’re the best you ever had,” but I think that’s a steaming crock of absolute-wrong and if I didn’t tell the people I’m with how many others I’d slept beside, there would be literally no way for them to know my number, because I don’t rust, I don’t wear out, I don’t get bruised. I’m not a wilting fruit, I don’t go rotten.
But here’s the thing: some people connect sex and emotion. I don’t personally because I am probably secretly an ice storm in disguise, but I still respect my partner’s desires. If they’re the type to want love and sex to coincide, I let them. I don’t make fun, I don’t pull one-night-stands or friends-with-benefits, because it’s not their “reputation” I’m afraid for: it’s their heart I’m defending.
Here’s the thing: Instead of worrying about people’s “purity” and how it defines them as a person, worry instead about how you can protect other people’s emotions.
Because here’s the thing: look around your room and spot the virgins. Look harder. You can’t tell. Sex doesn’t alter people, it doesn’t make them act in a certain way nor dress in a certain manner. Sex and personality have nothing to do with each other. There’s a reason that virginity doesn’t show on someone’s face: because having sex doesn’t cause you to change.
this gif of buff chris evans having to pretend like he can’t do a push-up is so important to me.
- tywin: what did all of these kings lack
- tommen: kittens
- tommen: a good king needs kittens
- tywin: no that's not --
- tommen: bring me a kitten